I could call this also “Why Noelle and I tend to focus on Facebook” but that isn’t the reason this topic came about.
Recently I have started a Twitter and Instagram. Honestly Instagram is used to mostly share posts with photos and pictures attached from Facebook. That’s about as social media savvy as I will go. However Noelle has cornered the market on rage on Facebook, I thought I’d at least give us some sort of presence and follow twitter. We don’t have many followers but I follow enough things to get messages sent out to others and make reposts, likes, etc. Honestly if I could afford a social media manager I would.
The reason I bring this up is that I joined twitter right when the whole entire thing with Terry Crews recently started. The link posted honestly gives a good recap of what happened. However I got to watch it happen in real time, which was rare. From the “malnourished” tweet (“Oh Terry what have you done…) to the apology.
When it comes down to serious topics, I don’t believe that Twitter is really something that you should use to express yourself unless you have two hands on a keyboard and possibly a word processor to break up things in 280 character chunks. Terry takes me as the type of man that only types things out on his cell phone. He might be hip about how to use apps, but he might not be hip with the appropriate places to give opinion, especially a serious one like this. If you notice his apology is basically twitter long form.
Serious topics to me are something that really should be expressed in smaller environments if you are going to use something limiting as twitter. When you have 2-4 people it is one thing, but not when you have over a million followers. You can’t say something controversial on twitter and expect people to roll with it, especially when people look up to you as an icon in many positive circles.
What Terry Crews was trying to say should have been put together in a long form post on someplace like Medium or Tumblr or Facebook or Instagram, preferably copy and pasted from a word processor. Some people got it, some people were rightfully offended too.
What I read through, including many of his followup replies, is that he feels that a child should have a masculine and feminine figure growning up. Roll Models of both sides that are actively in their lives. It doesn’t need to be a parent, but someone that you can see about how it is to be a man, to be a woman, and honestly now it should also to be asexual. Sometimes you are just more comfortable talking to someone of the same and/or different gender. If they take you under their wing as a mentor or someone that supports you, you win. He isn’t attacking single parent households, he isn’t attacking the LGBT+ community. However even small knives can cause someone to bleed out if they aren’t handled carefully and that is what this is.
This is why podcasting this show is important to me. I can go on and on with things typed on a page, but conversation is something that is important. I think Terry Crews was trying to start a conversation and didn’t realize he was going to get bulldozed over by a massive amount of voices. What you are listening to is a conversation where people could possibly be called out on their shit, or if they misword something because they do not have a verbal grasp of the English language they have a chance to immediately correct themselves. You still don’t get the body language aspect of it (unless our Patreon gets to the point where we wind up having to live stream video), but vocal patterns can help to promote empathy that can not be transferred in text alone.
I agree with the idea that he was trying to express. I know that as a cisgender man I’m fucked up and a lot of that probably has to go to my childhood and the type of masculine figures that were around me as I was getting older. Terry mentioned that it doesn’t have to be a parent but a coach or a teacher. Whenever I had male role models in that category, my family would wind up moving and I would lose them (This one is for you guys Mr. David Newbie and Master Gunnery Sgt ‘Top’ Howes). I love my mom and all, but the men she dated/married after I was born would all be in the toxic category.
I’m just glad I wasn’t fucked up enough to realize that. I guess I just buried everything when I was young, LIKE MY EMOTIONS.
So while I think someone might not be “malnourished” by not having a masculine and feminine parental figure or role-model in their life, it really fucking helps. I think I could have been a better man, a stronger ally, and more firm in trying to figure out what I actually believe if I was able to have someone that I could actually go to and trust that wasn’t my mom.
I am not discounting the women in my life, but I really wish there were more men in it that weren’t assholes. All I got from most of the men in my life is “I don’t want to be like that asshole” and didn’t get to be around enough positive male influences while I was growing up.